Monthly Archives: May 2019

No. 45: Has-been


Several months ago, I started training for a marathon. I gave myself 13 weeks to train. I knew I was cutting it close, but I was a runner in high school. Sure, that was more than 30 years ago. Whatever. I thought I’d have no problem. I trained with my friend Aaron, and even though he’s a few years younger than I am, I got a crick in my neck talking to him because he was always a few paces [...]

No. 44: Gaslighting is the New How Are You


I was gaslighted by my neighbor. She hasn’t always been the most pleasant neighbor. In the nine years we’ve lived next-door, she’s called Coral Gables Code Enforcement on us three times. The first time, I put a Huggies box on the garbage pile too early. We had just moved in and I didn’t know trash could only appear on your trash pile after 5 p.m. on Mondays. After paying the $500 fine, I ran over and asked her to please [...]

No. 43: Anyone Want to See My Colon?


At 50, doctors recommend getting a colonoscopy to screen for colorectal cancer. To prepare for mine, I watched Katie Couric have hers on TODAY. She started at her kitchen table, 18 hours before go time, with a big jug of cherry flavored Nulytely (also known as Golytely), the drink guaranteed to flush out the colon. Nulytely tasted terrible, apparently. She sucked on a lime then downed glass after glass at fifteen-minute intervals. I’d heard that drinking that stuff was the [...]