WHAT ARE THESE NUMBER ESSAYS ABOUT?
I’m a slow writer. I want to write better. I want to write faster. And like Marianne Williamson says, I have one last chance to get it right. Because there’s no time like the present; because turning 50 is better than the alternative; and because you only live once, I’m going for it. This year, […]
If I’m Not the Runner I Was, Who Am I? (in Oldster Magazine)
At 53, Andrea Askowitz reckons with the effects of menopause on her athletic abilities, and struggles to keep up with her 12-year-old son. I’ve been a runner my whole life. Until a year ago, I’d injured myself only once, while sliding, drunk, across a recently mopped floor. I never stretched growing up. Now, I have […]
WRITING LIFE: Writing Class Ruined Me for Social Reentry (in Hippocampus Magazine)
On Thursday, just after noon, I bike to Bagel Emporium. My kids are at home in their rooms, Zooming into class. Sebastian, who’s 12, may be playing Minecraft. Tashi, 17, is probably flipping through TikTok. On my way in, I bump into three moms I know from when Tashi was in elementary school. One mom […]
I Offer You Love, Light, and Blatherskite During this Trying Time (in The Haven)
Thank you for joining me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Clubhouse, Zoom, Google Meet, Facetime, Reddit, LinkedIn, Snapchat, YouTube, TikTok, my podcast, my vlog, and in the cosmos for Love, Light, and Blatherskite. Clever, right? Did you hear the rhyme? I am not a yoga teacher, but I’ve taken an Intensive, Light, Kundalini, Ashtanga, Ayurveda, Pacifist, […]
August 2022
August 2022 Live at Edinburgh Fringe
August 12-29, 2021
August 12-29, 2021 Zoom Hollywood Fringe
July 2021
July TBD, 2021 Live at The Palace, Miami
June 10th
June 10, 2021 Live at The Palace, Coral Gables
THIS IS HOW I HURT MY KIDS BY HELPING THEM (IN MOTHERWELL)
Since March, since we’ve been locked down with our kids, every other Saturday is cleaning day. Our nanny hasn’t been able to come to work, so I thought I’d use this moment to teach my kids self-reliance. Also, with all of us home all the time, the house is always a disaster and I didn’t […]
“YOU CAN’T WEAR THAT!” WHO DECIDES WHAT TEENS SHOULD WEAR (IN YOUR TEEN MAG)
My daughter is 15. Her favorite outfit is a tube top paired with denim shorts that barely cover her vagina. She argues she should be allowed to wear whatever she wants. She says tube tops and short-shorts are the style; that she feels good in that outfit; that I am a prude. A week ago, […]
“I’M TOTALLY SELFISH NOW THAT I’M A MOM” (IN KVELLER)
When my daughter’s teacher asked me to explain Hanukkah to her first-grade class, my first reaction was, “Hell, no!” / I had no interest in donating my time teaching people’s kids. That’s not because I didn’t want to get into a religious debate, or answer questions I didn’t know the answers to, or be labeled […]
