Look what Victoria did when Sebastian got his leg caught in the crib.  She doesn’t even know Karate.

The new deadline for Lip Service stories is September 8, 2010.  Sorry about the change.

She wrote an awesome review of My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy.  Check out Where in the World is Jennifer Santiago. But that’s not the only reason she’s my new favorite person.  She’s a kick-ass, hottie, smarty, ex-lawyer journalist.

Personalizedbabybook’s Blog reviewed My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy today. And they got me. Whoever wrote the review was sure to warn, “Prepare to get sick of Askowitz’s whining.”  Why do they always say I was whining?  Ew, there I did it again.  Okay, but this review also said, “Prepare to laugh uproariously at very simple moments.”

And because you might not click the link, here’s what else it said:  ”This memoir has roots, and will make you laugh as well as cry as it goes from  childhood to death to birth and circles through the three. I’m glad Askowitz didn’t try to soften any of her edges, because her sadness, flashes of anger, moments of self-pity and doubt coincide perfectly with her humor and faith in the future and her child.  AND YOU DON”T NEED TO BE A LESBIAN OR PREGNANT TO ENJOY IT.”  (My bold).

Thank you Personalizedbabybooks.

Last night I did an interview with SistersTalk Radio.  It was so much fun.  A great interview.  The host was hard on me, which was really good.  She said that in my book, My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy, I came across racist.

I said, “I’ve been accused of being a brat, of being homophobic, of being an entitled cow, but never racist.”

She said I mentioned race whenever I described a character.  That race seemed to be at the top of my mind.

I think she might be right. When I wrote My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy, I was a new writer. I thought then that I needed to physically describe all my characters.  If one of my characters was black or Latino or whatever, I probably said so.  But here’s my question:  Is awareness of race, racist?

Click here to link to the interview:

This is my commentary on the stupidity of blogs and social media.

I’ve had a lot of mixed feelings about marriage growing up.  At first I was all for it.  I didn’t quite have the Cinderella dream, but I wanted to get married someday and saw myself with a husband and two or three kids and dogs and cats.  Later I leaned that marriage had it’s complications. Not domestically, although of course it does, but politically, like that it may have been started so men could own women.  This soured my taste for it.  Then I came out as a lesbian and with its historical muddiness and my own personal rejection from the club, I denounced it.  I said things like, Why would gay people even want to be part of this historically burdened institution.  Why waste our time fighting for marriage.

But now I feel differently.  I was asked a few years ago to facilitate a marriage for a straight couple.  I became a minister online and read a lot of other people’s ceremonies to understand why they would want to commit themselves for life and also to come up with what to say.  What I learned in that process was that the most important reason to get married is not legal or religious, but social.

Now, I’ve learned this from experience.  I got married a few weeks ago.  I think it was mostly inspired by my little-girl self who always wanted it.  But what I experienced taught me much more than what I learned studying about it. Marriage may have had a lousy beginning, but today it is a glorified institution we all should have access to if we want it.

I was cheered like a rock-star; my whole family (like 50 people) flew in from all over the country to be there; strangers beeped their horns when they saw the toilet paper and shaving cream on our car; my flight attendant gave us complimentary champagne when I said we were on our honeymoon; the concierge at our hotel, my friends, the flight attendant, the check out lady at the grocery store, everyone said CONGRATULATIONS! like I’d done something important.

People didn’t seem to care that I married a woman.  But everyone cared that I got married.