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Story in Salon.com


Got a story in Salon.com.  Here’s the picture.  This adorable girl is NOT Tashi.

Press


         SHELF TALKER BOOK REVIEW:  MY MISERABLE, LONELY, LESBIAN PREGNANCY (Cleis Press)It’s her second attempt. She knows the routine. She’s purchased the sperm box for $320 with her bank card. She’s singing all the way to the clinic. Her partner of six years, unfortunately, has left her six months ago. Fine, she’ll do it alone. Then one day it happens–on the pregnancy test stick, two hot pink lines. This is it. There’s nothing Andrea Askowitz wants more than to [...]

Life Story (Abridged)


I was born in Miami, Florida, where I grew up. I had a happy childhood and I don’t think I’m blocking anything out. (Watch the ashes!) I have one brother named Tony, who is now called Anthony. We had a dog, Chaucer, who died when I was 10 and another dog, Hannibal, who died on the morning of his Bark Mitzvah. My mom thought it was a cute idea to celebrate his 13th birthday and to call it a Bark [...]

About Andrea


I’ve performed my stories at venues throughout the U.S., mostly in New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Miami including Sit ‘n Spin at Comedy Central Stage, Spark at Powerhouse Theater, Word-a-Rama at Highland Grounds, the Fake Gallery, Lip Service West in San Francisco, Porchlight in San Francisco, Lip Service at Miami Book Fair International, and the Miracle Theater in Coral Gables. I’m the creator of Lip Service, the most honest and entertaining literary event anywhere. Lip Service is true stories [...]

Seven-Year-Old Logic


Last night Tashi asked me what my Lip Service story was about. I said, “It was about how I had one idea about Miami and Mami Vicky had another idea.”   She said, “What idea?”   I said, “Well, when I moved to Miami, I thought no one here would really care about who was gay.”   Tashi said, “We’re gay, right?”   I said, “Well, I’m gay, because I love another woman.”   She said, “Why would anyone care [...]

Dear Mom


Dear Mom,   Thank you for parenting me.  As I remember, childhood was pretty good. You were attentive and sweet mostly and while I don’t remember making sculptures out of popsicle sticks or homemade Play-Doh, I do remember  getting lots of your attention.  How did you do it for so many years?   I am having trouble right now.  To be frank, Tashi is bugging the shit out of me.  And Sebastian is a monster.  But the real problem is [...]

Tashi Got New Tooth Brushes with Suction Cups


This is my commentary on the stupidity of blogs and social media.

If I Were Her Age, I’d Want to be Friends


Today while Tashi and I were walking home from Sophie’s house, because Tashi had a sleepover, she told me she watched Peter Pan, the real movie, which meant it had actors instead of animation. I asked which she liked better, cartoons or real people and she said, “That’s a hard one.” She told me Peter Pan was very sad. I asked why and she stopped walking. She said, “Peter came to the window and Wendy was having a party.” Her [...]

For Posterity, the Princess Phase is Over


Dear Posterity, I realize I’ve been writing post-it notes about the fun or cool or noteworthy things that have been going on lately and not writing them down anywhere, except on post-it notes.  So right now, on the day after Christmas, while my family is at a kid’s birthday party and I am home alone because Victoria took the kids and gave me a pass, I will write them down. 1.  Tashi gave away all her Princess possessions.  The princess [...]

One of these Things…


My friend, Lauren Beiley, invited me to a Jewish Federation symposium called Women with Muscle. I didn’t really want to give up my morning (because I’m writing a book and I need my mornings!) and so I asked her if she really needed me there to fill up space and if so, I said I’d do it. She said she didn’t need me, but that it might be enlightening. Lauren fills space at my events all the time and I [...]